The Importance of Catholic Prayer in the Spiritual Life: A Reflection on the pop song of Cliff Richard's “It’s So Funny We Don’t Talk Anymore”

 In a moment of serendipity this week, I found myself pondering a pop song that played on the radio at work. I couldn't get it out of my head as I drove to my Bible study meeting. The lyrics of Cliff Richard's “It’s So Funny We Don’t Talk Anymore” stuck with me—not just as a nostalgic melody, but as a surprising metaphor for the spiritual life. It became the seed for a fruitful discussion about prayer and its central role in our relationship with God.

The song speaks to the sorrow of silence in a once-vibrant relationship. That absence of communication, once so easy and natural, creates a void that estranges two hearts. It struck me that our spiritual life can falter in much the same way. Just as relationships between people deepen through regular, meaningful communication, so too does our relationship with God thrive when we remain in dialogue with Him.

Prayer as the Language of Love

In Catholic teaching, prayer is not just a routine or a ritual; it is the living, breathing connection to God. It is through prayer that we express our love, gratitude, and dependence on Him. More importantly, it is the means by which we listen to His voice.

The Catechism of the Catholic Church reminds us that prayer is a vital necessity. Without it, our spiritual life withers. “He who prays is certainly saved; he who does not pray is certainly damned” (St. Alphonsus Liguori). This may sound stark, but the truth is simple: prayer sustains the soul much as breathing sustains the body. Without it, the relationship with God that we are called to nurture becomes distant and stagnant.

The Deeper the Relationship, the More We Talk

In our Bible meeting this week, I shared my reflection on the song. Together, we discussed how a vibrant relationship requires two things: presence and communication. Just as couples or friends who drift apart lose the habit of sharing their joys, fears, and struggles, so too can we drift from God when we fail to pray. The deeper the love, the more natural it feels to speak and listen to one another.

This is why prayer must be consistent. Structured prayers, like the Rosary or the Liturgy of the Hours, teach us discipline, while spontaneous, personal prayers allow us to express the rawness of our hearts. Together, these create a rhythm of life that keeps us close to God. 

Building Habits of Conversation with God

Like any relationship, our connection with God requires intentionality. Imagine a couple that speaks only on special occasions or out of obligation. Their love risks growing cold. Similarly, a Christian who prays only at Mass or in times of crisis may struggle to feel God’s presence in the ordinary moments of life. 

Daily prayer—whether a simple “thank you” in the morning or a moment of quiet before bed—keeps our hearts attuned to God. But the more we speak to God, the more we make room for Him, the more we come to recognize His voice in all things. We do need the discipline of thanking him every week at least with Mass, but if we want love to grow we need to extend it to constantly lifting our minds and hearts to God. If we neglect the small things we will fail in the larger things.

A Final Reflection

As our Bible group concluded, I marveled at how God can use even the ordinary—like a pop song—to teach me a profound lesson. The song reminded me of the sorrow we cause ourselves when we neglect the most important relationship in our lives. But it also reminded me of the joy and intimacy that await us when we return to God in prayer.

So let us speak to Him today. Let us thank Him, praise Him, and lay our burdens before Him. And let us listen, trusting that even in silence. He is present, but do we ignore him? It’s so funny we don’t talk anymore—but it doesn't have to be that way let's talk to him. 

Gratitude, Mass, and Happiness

Throughout my life, I’ve encountered many different kinds of people, each bringing their own set of strengths, challenges, and insights. There are those who, in their quiet dedication to responsibility, seem to carry the weight of the world on their shoulders, never missing a beat in their work and obligations. I’ve met individuals who, with an effortless warmth, care more for the well-being of others than for their own, often to the point of self-neglect. There are others still, who are sensitive to the winds of their emotions, their thoughts constantly moving in waves of uncertainty. I’ve seen those who thrive in the world of social interactions, their energy flowing outward like a constant stream, and I’ve met those whose drive for power and self-preservation runs deep, shaping their every action with sharp precision.

As I reflect on these encounters, I realize how much the rhythm of gratitude, particularly through worship, speaks to each of these different personalities, offering peace in a world full of noise and demands.

For those who are conscientious, who carry the burden of responsibility with a stoic resolve, it’s easy to see how a life driven by the need to do things perfectly can lead to exhaustion and burnout. The constant striving for order can sometimes feel like a never-ending battle. And yet, when I think of the rhythm of Mass—the weekly commitment to pause and reflect—I realize how that very ritual serves as a grounding point. In the liturgical silence, there is an opportunity to lay down the weight of perfectionism at the feet of something higher, to simply be in the presence of God, free from the pressure of achievement. It is in that sacred moment of gratitude where the need to control and perfect can be replaced with a humble offering, a peace that doesn’t come from accomplishment but from surrender.

For those who are agreeable, whose hearts are so attuned to the needs of others that they often forget their own, the rhythm of worship offers a much-needed reminder. In the act of communal worship, I see how this regular practice allows for a deeper sense of belonging—not just to those around us, but to something transcendent. The Mass becomes a time to receive, to acknowledge that while giving to others is important, we too need the nourishment of gratitude and reflection. Through worship, these individuals can find a sense of balance—learning that to serve others effectively, they must first acknowledge their own worth and the goodness of God in their lives. In this sacred space, gratitude becomes not just a feeling but a commitment—a commitment to take care of the soul in order to serve others with a fuller heart.

Then there are those who, driven by the tides of emotion, find themselves caught in storms of anxiety or sorrow. For them, life often feels like an unpredictable sea. Yet, in the peaceful rhythm of Mass, they can find an anchor. The act of worship, with its deliberate pauses, prayers, and chants, becomes a sanctuary of stillness in the midst of turmoil. It’s in the act of gratitude, when the soul can give thanks for all that is good despite the chaotic winds of the world, that peace begins to settle in. Through worship, those with a more neurotic temperament can find a place to process, to reflect, and to surrender their anxieties to God. Gratitude becomes their refuge, a practice that invites them to step outside the emotional tides and trust in something greater than themselves.For the extraverted, who live in a world of constant interaction and social expectation, the act of worship offers a place to direct their energy inward. Mass becomes a space where their desire for external connection is met by a deeper, more intimate connection with the divine. The liturgical rhythm provides a structure in which their social energy can be channeled into something sacred. There is a moment of collective gratitude where the individual is not seeking approval or validation from others but is instead participating in the communal act of giving thanks. Here, the energy that typically flows outward is turned inward and upward, toward God. In this space, their need for external recognition is replaced by the peace of being known by God, loved for who they are, not for what they do.

And then, I think of those who have a more driven, perhaps self-serving nature—individuals whose ambitions are sharp and unyielding, whose pursuit of success or power is a constant force in their lives. For them, the rhythm of Mass offers an unexpected gift. The liturgy, with its focus on surrender, humility, and gratitude, is a direct challenge to their self-sufficiency. In the act of worship, there is an invitation to step away from the ego, to give thanks not for what they’ve achieved on their own, but for the grace that allows them to succeed in the first place. Gratitude in worship becomes an opportunity to acknowledge that life’s greatest gifts—love, strength, wisdom—are not self-made but given by God. It is in that act of recognizing God's provision that the drive for power can be tempered, leading to a more balanced life, one where success is no longer solely defined by personal achievement but by divine grace.

What strikes me most in all of these reflections is how the act of worship, particularly in the liturgical rhythm of Mass, ties these various personality types together. Each type, with its own strengths and vulnerabilities, can find peace in the commitment to gratitude. This regular act of thanksgiving, not just in thought but in action, reshapes the soul. It teaches us to focus on what is good, to acknowledge what is beyond ourselves, and to surrender to a rhythm that leads to deeper peace. For all of us—no matter our personality—it is in the worship of God, an act of gratitude, that we find a path to a healthier, more meaningful life. It is here that the noise of the world quiets, the soul rests, and the truth of divine love and grace give balance.

Are You a Fan of Jesus, or a Follower ?

 I have seen a lot of videos about the Bible but this is one of the best on how to pray with the Bible. It is very practical.

faith formation: What is Love? Love does not Dishonor --- post 6

 

We are continuing our meditation on St. Paul's definition of Love. We have covered patience, and tackled kindness ; we thought about envy. and consider boastfulness. We looked at pride last time now let's look at dishonor [rudeness] and self-seeking, i.e. selfish.

1 Corinthians 13:4-7

"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.  It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.  Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.  It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres."

Here are some good point from transformedbygrace.org

Love does not dishonor others [Love is not rude], Love is not self-seeking.            1 Corinthians 13:5

God’s loving ways and thoughts are far higher and deeper than ours. God is the Sovereign Authority over all there is, and certainly our Superior. Yet, our God speaks to us intimately and with great respect through His Holy Scriptures and Holy Spirit. Even when God must confront us in clear, strong ways about our wrong behavior and tell us hard truths about ourselves, God is never rude. Love does not dishonor others, Love is not rude, Love is not self-seeking.

faith formation: How to Trick Your Brain to Like Doing Hard Things (getting good habits, ie virtues) – Atomic Habits by James Clear

 

faith formation : The World Gone Bonkers Explained - Fr. Mark Goring, CC

 Another great sermon from Fr. Goring.

faith formation: What is Love? Love is Not Proud post 5

 

We are continuing our meditation on St. Paul's definition of Love. We have covered patience, and tackled kindness ; we thought about envy. and consider boastfulness. Not let us look at pride.


1 Corinthians 13:4-7

"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.  It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.  Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.  It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres."


We could write a whole book on the topic of pride, and many have. We just want to take a brief look to help us love better.

St. Chrysostom says pride is a disease:

“...whoever is inflamed and puffed up, he must be the diseased one; for he is swollen above the proportion of the rest.” https://www.newadvent.org/fathers/220112.htm

Other translations say instead of “not proud” that love is “not puffed up." Pride is a spiritual illness.

faith formation: Fr. Goring, How to be Happy

faith formation: Being Transformed by the Gospel -- Kerygma

 

faith formation: What is Love? Love Does Not Boast -- post 4

 

We are continuing our meditation on St. Paul's definition of Love. We have covered patience, and tackled kindness , we thought about envy. Now we consider boastfulness.

1 Corinthians 13:4-7

"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres."

Boasting is extolling oneself, usually in words. Boasting is opposed to truth, by way of excess, when one boasts of what one has but in excess, or by way of what one does not have, which is a lie. (Proverbs 28:25): "He that boasts, and puffs himself up, stirs up quarrels." 

There are two forms of boasting, one is to create the illusion in one's own mind of your greatness. The second is to create a deception of your greatness in the minds of  others. (2 Corinthians 12:5): ” I will not boast about myself, except to tell you of my humiliations.” 

Even if your boasting comes from a fear of being inferior.  This boasting still springs from vainglory and pride.  If we are inferior to others that can be reality, at least at that moment. And so what? We are what we are in God's eyes. What others think does not make us better or worse. One's desire for self importance comes from pride and vainglory, and lacks humility. Marcus Aurelius wrote in his Meditations: "Do you wish to be praised by a man who curses himself thrice every hour?" Often people's criticisms are an extension of their own insecurities.

The humble person does not seek honor. Boasting seeks honors or sometimes gain. It can seek gain in money by boasting of how great an investment is, and having people invest under this delusion. It could also be used by suitors looking for a spouse. Boasting of their virtues or their riches and by so doing win the person's love. Proverbs 27:2: "Let someone else praise you, not your own mouth–a stranger, not your own lips."

Boasting can also come in group forms: boasting of one's family, or community, ethnic group, or country. This usually springs from the desire of belittling other groups, and a lack of love of one’s family as they are in reality. By boasting, we love a family that doesn’t exist, we are embarrassed by our real family as it is.

While love of your family or country can be a virtue, virtue is found in the mean (middle) not in the excess, which boasting is by definition. We can feel a sense of pride in real accomplishments, but not at the expense of truth or desire to humiliate.

Boasting is opposed to Love because it is selfish and a lie, seeking one’s own glory and not God’s first.

we will continue with love is not proud.

faith formation: Trilogy of Spiritual Classics - Fr. Mark Goring, CC

 

In addition to the books endorsed by the good father, above, may we suggest Alphonsus de Liguori's  very short classic. This is especially good for those in challenging marriages, or other difficult circumstances:

from ccel.org

"Written in 1755, Uniformity with God's Will is a wonderful little treatise on the true love of God. Saint Alphonsus de Liguori writes to encourage believers to unify their wills with that of God's, so that they may love God perfectly: "the more one unites his will with the divine will, the greater will be his love of God."

To choose otherwise--i.e. to choose not to unify one's will with God's--is "a kind of idolatry." These seven short chapters, not simply prone to abstract speculation, explore concretely how to make one's own will uniform with God's through the hardships of this life.

Further, the book discusses the fruit of such a union with God's will: happiness.

De Liguori concludes by noting how, in all things, Christians must remain steadfast in their union with God's will. For in so doing, God will "press us to his heart." Challenging and encouraging, Uniformity with God's Will has the power to remind us of what true love of God really is. "
 by Tim Perrine
CCEL Staff Writer

Link to the book online:  PDF or audio

faith formation: What is Love? It Does Not Envy -- post 3

We are continuing our meditation on St. Paul's definition of Love. We have covered patience, and tackled kindness . Now let us think about envy.

    1 Corinthians 13:4-74

"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres."

Envy consists of sadness or grief at another's success, and by their good name and esteem increasing.  Envy is related to the Ten Commandments, specifically, "Neither shall you covet ... anything that belongs to your neighbour"—this commandment belongs to greed but may be associated with envy. In this case, it is the esteemed reputation owned by another.

[cf. Envy-- Summa--Secunda Secundae Partis, Q. 36, https://www.newadvent.org/summa/3036.htm#article4 ]

Dante in his Divine Comedy writes one of the envious souls on the terrace says:

"My blood was so afire with envy that,
when I had seen a man becoming happy,
the lividness in me was plain to see"
[Purgatorio, Canto XIV, lines 82–84]

The envious man hates the happiness and success of others; it springs from the pride of vainglory.  (Galatians 5:26): "Let us not be made desirous of vainglory, provoking one another, envying one another."

faith formation: How to Have a Personal Relationship With Jesus?

Here is an excellent presentation on having a personal relationship with Christ.This is so key to the spiritual life. Many call themselves Catholic but have no relationship with God. They are neither hot nor cold. This you tube channel has a lot of good videos.
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCzV2YYCue4QaJNhm7uoYnZg

faith formation: What is Love? Love is Kind -- post 2

These few words from Fr. Goring add to my thoughts.

We are continuing our meditation on St. Paul's definition of Love. We have covered patience, now we will tackle kindness.

    1 Corinthians 13:4-74
"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres."

Kindness are acts of generosity, consideration, or concern for others, without expecting any praise or reward. Kindness is one of the main topics in the Bible, but seldom defined.

It is often used together with love in the Bible as "lovingkindness.":  Psalm 103:8
"The LORD is compassionate and gracious, slow to anger and abounding in lovingkindness."

In Book II of "Rhetoric", Aristotle defines kindness as "helpfulness towards someone in need, not in return for anything, nor for the advantage of the helper himself, but for that of the person helped."[Rhetoric, book 2, chapter 7]

We are kind when we are sympathetic to the other person's situation and take action. This is the meaning of the famous Good Samaritan parable.(Luke 10:30)

Kindness starts in our thoughts. Do we dwell on past hurts or seek revenge? Revenge is one of our strongest emotions. Keep an eye on that and you will grade your kindness. Revenge is not healthy for us it makes us spiritually sick

faith formation: St. Teresa of Avila's 7 Mansions - Marcel Dion & Fr. Mark Goring, CC

 

faith formation: When It's Time for Them to "Get a Life"

 Editor: Sloth has become a common problem in today's culture. The conveniences of life too easily obtained can stunt emotional growth. Here is a great article I found on the problem handled in very practical way. The website linked to at the top of the article has a lot of practical advice.
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loveandlogic.com   or their blog https://www.loveandlogic.com/blogs/our-blog

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By Jim Fay

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"What do I do? I'm at my wits end! My grown son still lives at home.

He won't respect any of our house rules. He doesn't clean up after himself. He just lounges around the house and never lifts a finger to do anything."

"And, worse yet, we can't seem to motivate him to get a job. He isn't even civil to us. When we try to tell him to treat us better and that he needs to get a job, he gets belligerent and tells us to get off his case."

You might be amazed at how often I hear about a situation such as this. Upon being asked about this problem, I usually inquire about who is subsidizing this irresponsible son's easy lifestyle. Whose food is he eating? Whose car is he driving? Whose utilities is he using? The answer is usually, "Well, ours, but..." This is often followed with a list of explanations, excuses, and reasons related to, "Well, he doesn't have the money to take care of himself" or "He has to save his money because he wants to buy a car."

Please tell me, readers, would you put up with this for one minute if it were anyone but your own child sucking off of your personal resources, while at the same time treating you with such disrespect? Of course not! You'd say, "Out! Get a life!" The answer is easy to see when it doesn't involve your own child.

A surefire way to cripple a person is to allow him/her to sponge off you. People who are warm, comfortable, protected, and well fed usually have little motivation to change their lifestyles.

faith formation: Are We Becoming a Nation of Gollums?

 By Joseph Pearce

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As we watch our culture succumb to the power of Pride, we are witnessing the “gollumizing” of our brothers and sisters, as they shrivel into pathetic wrecks of the people they are meant to be. The only escape from this hell is rooted in heavenly love.

This week, I met a good friend of mine at a local restaurant, the first time we’d got together since before the onset of the pestilence. He is a Presbyterian pastor and a great lover of the works of J.R.R. Tolkien. It was, in fact, Tolkien who had introduced us to each other, in the sense that we first met at a local Tolkien conference a few years ago.

faith formation: What is Love? Love is Patient-- post 1

Love is the goal of life--to love God and our neighbor. 

St. Paul defined it as we Christians should understand it. 

“Love is patient, love is kind. Love is not jealous, it is not pompous, it is not inflated, it is not rude, it does not seek its own interests, it is not quick-tempered, it does not brood over injury. Love does not rejoice over wrong-doing, but rejoices with the truth. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.”

 

Let’s examine each point

faith formation: St. John Paul II’s Message to Women Who Have Had An Abortion - Fr. Mark Goring, CC

 

faith formation: Pride and Duty

The devil tempts us by three main methods: Pleasure, Honor, and Power. Pride is part of all three. He focuses on our main weakness, which is sinful-pride. Other languages  have one word for sinful-pride and another for good-pride, but not in common conversational English. (We could call good-pride “magnanimity” and sinful-pride “hubris”; but we will stick to common language for now). 

In English we  tend to use the same words often with different meanings, depending on the context. Good-pride is the pride you have for your loved ones succeeding, one's country, or culture. It is “other minded” or “group minded.” But even these can become sinful, when brought to excess.