faith formation: What is Love? Love is Kind -- post 2

These few words from Fr. Goring add to my thoughts.

We are continuing our meditation on St. Paul's definition of Love. We have covered patience, now we will tackle kindness.

    1 Corinthians 13:4-74
"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres."

Kindness are acts of generosity, consideration, or concern for others, without expecting any praise or reward. Kindness is one of the main topics in the Bible, but seldom defined.

It is often used together with love in the Bible as "lovingkindness.":  Psalm 103:8
"The LORD is compassionate and gracious, slow to anger and abounding in lovingkindness."

In Book II of "Rhetoric", Aristotle defines kindness as "helpfulness towards someone in need, not in return for anything, nor for the advantage of the helper himself, but for that of the person helped."[Rhetoric, book 2, chapter 7]

We are kind when we are sympathetic to the other person's situation and take action. This is the meaning of the famous Good Samaritan parable.(Luke 10:30)

Kindness starts in our thoughts. Do we dwell on past hurts or seek revenge? Revenge is one of our strongest emotions. Keep an eye on that and you will grade your kindness. Revenge is not healthy for us it makes us spiritually sick that is why God promised us in Romans 12:19 "Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.” 

We need to keep an eye on our thoughts, which lead to words and deeds, "For the mouth speaks what the heart is full of."(Luke 6:45) If we are looking to be positive then that is what we will see and think. A kind word or compliment costs us nothing, and could make a person's day happier. If it is the person selling you coffee, say something kind and genuine and specific to them. If it is your spouse,child or friend, look for things you love to be complimented on, and look for that in others. It is easier to find fault, than to encourage.

It is not always within our power to extend ourselves to everyone. We do need prudence, but we can pray for them, if it is not within our power at that time. Prayer seems to be the condition God waits to act. Not that He doesn't act on His own, but he wants us to ask.

As said before on this blog, those closest to us should enjoy our acts of virtue the most. There was a comedian who once said: "Ladies, be kind to your man, make a sandwich for your husband when he is cutting the lawn. Surprise him with kindness! My wife did that for me ONCE and it was the greatest feeling in the world! Never happened again, but that ONE time I was a king!" Many truths are said in jest.

Anticipating the needs of others is another way to be kind, but don't take a selfie while doing it. Some people will do something kind so they get something, or manipulate things to the way they want it, under the cover of kindness. The opposite of kindness is hostility or rivalry. What do we win if we humiliate someone? There is no prize. But kindness does have a reward, heaven. "And if anyone gives even a cup of cold water to one of these little ones who is my disciple, truly I tell you, that person will certainly not lose their reward.” (Matthew 10:42)

But what if someone is unkind to us? How should we act? There are two options. One we can ignore it, and pray for them, or we can try to be kind back to them. In this way it is a "holy revenge." St. Paul says  "...if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; for by so doing you will heap burning coals on his head" (Romans 12:20) They will pay in Purgatory for their sin, if they are saved, but you will be rewarded for your virtue and self-control.

We are not on our own in life. The Holy Spirit is here to help us to achieve growth and salvation. As a matter of fact one of the gifts of Confirmation is the gift to be heroic in virtue.“ [T]he fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.” (Galatians 5:22-23). We receive a seal on our soul of the Holy Spirit in Confirmation. We can never lose this, only refuse to use it. But sacraments and grace are not magic, we need to activate them, by prayer and action. As St. Francis De Sales says that we need to exercise the virtue we desire. Just wishing it without effort will accomplish little:

“You learn to speak by speaking, to study by studying, to run by running, to work by working, and just so, you learn to love by loving. All those who think to learn in any other way deceive themselves."--St. Francis De Sales

Trying to describe kindness is like trying to describe the taste of chocolate. Explanations are difficult but we know it when we receive it and we receive kindness by giving it away.

Let us end with quote from St. Basil the Great:

    “A tree is known by its fruit; a man by his deeds. A good deed is never lost; he who sows courtesy reaps friendship, and he who plants kindness gathers love.”