A result of defeatist language--Temperamental Lingo-- is it leads to Temper, a form of pride. Temper is when a "right" is subjectively claimed, and force is objectively used. It is an expression of pride and not getting one's way.
Temperamental Lingo leads us to claiming a subjective "right" that works ourselves up until we explode into a temper tantrum--yelling, screaming or stomping, etc...lashing out, (sometimes only in our minds) which is Angry Temper--anger at others or situations, it is followed by Fearful Temper-- anger at one's self.
It is an expression of pride in both cases.
5 Colossians 3:8
"But now you must put them all away: anger, wrath, malice, slander, and obscene talk from your mouth."
Temper has two divisions: Angry Temper and Fearful Temper.
Angry Temper is a perceived wrong, done to me, and results in anger at a person, situation, or even God. It is expressed in resentment, impatience, indignation, disgust, hatred, etc..
Fearful Temper is anger at myself; a subjective judgment of not living-up to a moral standard. This can express itself in discouragement, preoccupation, embarrassment, worry, sense of shame, feeling of inadequacy, hopelessness, despair, etc.
“Fits of anger, vexation, and bitterness against ourselves tend to pride and they spring from no other source than self-love, which is disturbed and upset at seeing that [we are] imperfect.”
- Francis de Sale
Fearful Temper is likely to lead either to a feeling of personal inferiority or the sentiment of group stigmatization-- ostracization from the group or community, which is a form of vanity.
Proverbs 29:25
“It is dangerous to be concerned with what others think of you, but if you trust the Lord, you are safe.”
We should not give into an exaggerated human respect. If we depend on the respect of others we will be tossed to and fro by the waves of fashion. This is not to say we should not keep our good name, and be considerate of others, but it can not be exaggerated.
Whether Temper is of the angry or fearful type, one is usually followed by the other, they are preceded or lead to physical discomfort: headache, palpitations, a turning stomach, which in turn, leads to racing thoughts, and increased temperamental reactions. It can become a vicious cycle.
Complaints about their discomfort can trigger statements from others that are unkind or are perceived as insults or innuendo, and may provoke silent agonies in the mind of the novice. We need to be sympathetic to the person but not the false reaction. We don’t know what others are suffering. While we need to sympathize and be kind, we also need to encourage them that it can change, if they trust in the Lord.
Trapped in his thoughts about a real or assumed slight or insult, leads to a worse feeling of helplessness, then anger. Making the physical discomfort worse, again reinforcing a vicious cycle of inferiority and helplessness.
1 Peter 5:7
"Casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you."
Trusting in God is one of the main goals of the spiritual life. St. Faustina made it her motto : "Jesus I trust in You"
There is almost no topic more emphasized in scripture than trusting in God. From Abraham to Jesus the message is always “Trust Me, I am God, I got this.” Our problem is that it isn’t the way we would do it. But that is part of the problem of trusting. We are not God and don’t see the whole picture.
We need to be gentle with those who are anxious. Their suffering is real, though the cause may not be. If they are told to "just snap out of it," indicating that their symptoms are so easy to manage, they feel like weaklings, making already anxious feelings worse.
The net result of these corrections and perceived assaults is that the novice is continually angry at his detractors, and, at the same time gradually accepts their insinuations, becomes ashamed and fearful.
“One of the best exercises in meekness we can perform is when the subject is in ourselves. We must not fret over our own imperfections. Although reason requires that we must be displeased and sorry whenever we commit a fault, we must refrain from bitter, gloomy, spiteful, and emotional displeasure. Many people are greatly at fault in this way. ”
- Francis de Sale
Unless a beginner in the spiritual life learns to ignore subjective threats, warnings and incitements of Temperamental Lingo--defeatist language, he will be the victim of angry outbursts and fearful anticipations.
John 14:27
"Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid."
Temperamental Lingo discourages novices from tolerating and controlling reactions. Feelings become "unbearable." Life becomes "hopeless."
Comfort will only return when the novice learns to trust in God in all things.
“If you have firm trust in God, the success that comes to you will always be that which is most useful for you whether it appears good or bad in your private judgment.”
- St. Francis de Sales
Contrary to what would be expected, the novice is comforted to be told he is sabotaging his spiritual life with anxiety, and Temperamental Lingo.
Psalm 9:10
“Those who know your name trust you because you have not abandoned any who seek you, Lord.”
Considering himself as a beginner he knows he has "not yet" learned to avoid defeatism and trust in God. "Not yet" is reassuring. It tells him in time he will learn. He must be patient, bear the discomfort of the journey and also pray for this grace.
The good spiritual director will encourage as a good father "Wait, you will learn to trust God, and stop sabotaging your spiritual life."
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