"What do I do? I'm at my wits end! My grown son still lives at home.
He won't respect any of our house rules. He doesn't clean up after
himself. He just lounges around the house and never lifts a finger to do
anything."
"And, worse yet, we can't seem to motivate him to get a job. He isn't
even civil to us. When we try to tell him to treat us better and that
he needs to get a job, he gets belligerent and tells us to get off his
case."
You might be amazed at how often I hear about a situation such as
this. Upon being asked about this problem, I usually inquire about who
is subsidizing this irresponsible son's easy lifestyle. Whose food is he
eating? Whose car is he driving? Whose utilities is he using? The
answer is usually, "Well, ours, but..." This is often followed with a
list of explanations, excuses, and reasons related to, "Well, he doesn't
have the money to take care of himself" or "He has to save his money
because he wants to buy a car."
Please tell me, readers, would you put up with this for one minute if
it were anyone but your own child sucking off of your personal
resources, while at the same time treating you with such disrespect? Of
course not! You'd say, "Out! Get a life!" The answer is easy to see when
it doesn't involve your own child.
A surefire way to cripple a person is to allow him/her to sponge off
you. People who are warm, comfortable, protected, and well fed usually
have little motivation to change their lifestyles.